How much has to be explored and discarded before reaching the naked flesh of feeling. ~
Claude Debussy, French composer, 1862-1918
(Chapter One, an excerpt from the Amazon Best Seller, Walking the Journey Together … Alone)
“I stood up, braced my knees, clasped my fists, closed my eyes, and screamed. And screamed. I screamed so loud I thought my neighbours would hear me and call the police. I was fearful it sounded like I was being attacked. In some ways it was an attack but it wasn’t criminal. The intense emotions of grief, anger, and sadness assaulted my soul and my heart, and The Scream fought back. It was natural.
Twenty months after the death of my husband I finally started releasing the grief and the pain. I needed to release the sorrowful thoughts, the feelings of despair and sadness, and restore balance to my core essence. The world called me a widow, and that was a role I played. It was time to write a new chapter in my life.
The Scream was different from any other moments of crying and sobbing. Before The Scream, my crying sessions were about sadness, anger, frustration, and loneliness. They often came out of nowhere and frightened me. Many times I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop crying. Up until now it was the suddenness of the tears and heartache that frightened me. The Scream was different. It was an explosion. The intensity and depth of The Scream was frightening.”
Step by step we travel through our lives. Sometimes there are sunshine moments, and sometimes there are stormy ones. Over the years there is usually a balance of good times and bad times. Until the balance runs out.
Some of us run into mountains upon mountains of despair, sadness and stress as we face critical family illness, disease and disability. Oh yes, most of us do things like focus on the positive, believe in a better tomorrow and have endless thoughts of hope. What happens to the emotions we push from our hearts and minds so we can focus on the positive?
The reality is these negative thoughts and emotions don’t disappear. They get stuffed. We bury them. When we are handling issues, like caring for a loved one, there is no time, and no energy, to be honest with these emotions. So they find a place, or several places, in our bodies to hide. They wait there, quiet and unassuming. And when they see a crack in the armour, they pounce. It might look like frustration at a co-worker, impatience in line at the grocery store, or crying at a sad song. When we continually stuff these emotions, the places they take up in our bodies get full and we might start to see them pop out in more negative, and maybe hurtful, ways. We might yell at our children, kick the dog and have road rage.
Think of it this way. Imagine these emotions are a beach ball and stuffing them is like trying to hold the beach ball under water. It works for a while, but every now and then it breaks free and pops up to the surface. That is what is happening with our emotions. And it takes a lot of energy to keep them down.
I was often commended for being so strong while I cared for Callum. It would have served me better if I had taken a few moments, on a regular basis, to be honest with my fears, anger and sadness and work at releasing them. Screaming would have helped. Here are some great reasons for devoting a few minutes, once or twice a week, to screaming:
1) Screaming releases negative energy and helps to relieve the stress, which causes all sorts of issues in our bodies.
2) Releasing the negative energy also makes room for good, positive energy, so we can look after ourselves better and be more productive at work, home and caring for our loved one.
3) There is no special training or course to take to learn how to scream. It is as easy as opening your mouth and making noise. Over and over.
4) To maximize releasing negative emotions, screaming can be done at the same time you stomp your feet, punch a pillow, pound a hammer, throw bales – you get the idea.
5) It’s free!